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Chapter 15

That afternoon, after Tom and Lynette had returned home, Tom told Angela what had happened to him in the Avery class.

“Oh, Tom!” Angela exclaimed when he told her about how he had felt about the holding of hands and how the touching made him begin to have signs of anxiety.

“But it wasn’t at all like the panic I used to get, Mom,” he assured her. “This was more of a feeling of... discomfort... anxiety, I guess. I was really uncomfortable at first, and as I tried to push that feeling away, only then did I start to get the anxious feelings. The touching didn’t start the feeling. It started when... um... like when I tried... yeah, when I tried to deny the anxiety. Maybe my body knew something was wrong, it didn’t want the intimate touching... maybe it was too intimate for me... and when I tried to damp down how I felt, my body hit me with a way it knew would stop me from any further touching.”

Angela hugged Tom. “Honey, that was a wonderful explanation; it looks like you have a pretty good handle on figuring out your own responses to emotional feelings. But how do you feel about touching other people and having them touch you?”

Tom shrugged. “Jeez, I never gave it any thought at all before this. I’m fine with hugging. Hey, I even hug back some of Lynette’s friends when they hug me... Lynnie, some of your friends are comin’ on to me, you know,” he teased.

She shoved him playfully. “Yeah, and I’ll scratch out their eyes if they try anything more than hugs...!”

Tom went on thoughtfully. “Yeah, some of the guys on my track team hugged me after I had a good race time—we slapped each other on the arses too, all in fun; that’s fine; doesn’t bother me. Say, I told Darden—she’s our counselor—that I maybe I can’t handle being even a little intimate with a girl without having a psychological or maybe emotional attraction to her. I love Lynette so, so much that in my deepest thoughts, I must feel that any kind of intimacy with someone else is betraying her.”

“Oh, Tommie, that’s so sweet,” Lynette murmured as she hugged him and Angela smiled at them both.

“You know, Tom, that sounds exactly right!” Angela exclaimed. “Maybe you’re reacting to a challenge to your commitment to Lynette, not some kind of psych problem.”

Lynette broke in then and began telling her mom about her own experience.

“Yeah, Mom, I kinda felt a little like Tom, doing that stuff. The part we were doing this morning was a bonding exercise and had us first holding hands, then stroking each other’s hands, telling the boy things about me, then we were supposed to embrace each other ... doing that hand-holding and stroking felt so friggin’ awkward and uncomfortable to me; then when the embracing was started, that was getting way too intimate for me and it suddenly occurred to me that if I was feeling like that, what about Tom? Then all hell broke loose and Tom went running out... HOLY SHIT!” she broke off.

“Lynette! Language!” Angela chided gently. “What did you think of? I know when your light bulb goes on, darling.”

“Yeah Mom, that’s it! Why Tom reacted; I kinda reacted to that also. Those bonding exercises? Our holding hands, caressing them, sitting close and chatting quietly about private little things—all that—Tom and I—we’ve been doing all that together since forever! Oh shi... Sorry. Years ago, Tom and I must have bonded intimately, just like in the Avery Program, but exclusively. We’ve always loved each other... since we first met but our ... what?—yeah, our psyches must have bonded and our bodies must have reacted to having the wrong person doing the stuff with us that bonded us together. I was just uncomfortable doing it with another guy ‘cause it just felt so wrong. Apparently when Tom feels something wrong so deeply, he panics or something—he’s learned that as a defensive measure. Right, Mom? Tom?”

While Lynette was talking, Angela was staring at her in awe. When Lynette finished, Angela could hardly express herself, her chest had swelled with love and admiration for her daughter. Meanwhile Tom, who had been listening raptly, responded.

“Damn, sis, that’s perfect... sounds like you figured it out—again! Yeah, sure I remember how we sat... hours sometimes, just stroking each other’s hands while watching tv or talking while sitting so close I could feel your breathing... No, that’s why I can’t do that with anyone else. Doing that with another person was just wrong!”

Angela had recovered her voice. “My god, darling, that was so incredibly perceptive. If you want to consider careers, you’d make an awesome psychiatrist or psychologist.”

Lynette blushed and whispered. “Thanks, Mom.”

Tom wondered, “Well, Darden told us she’d have to redo our schedules now. But I wonder if they’ll try to get me to do it again.”

Angela grinned mirthlessly. “Well, I’m certain we’ll hear from the school pretty soon. Don’t worry about it, honey, okay?”

Tom nodded.

~~~~

Three days after Tom’s aborted Avery class session, Hanford assembled a group to discuss how to deal with Tom’s problem in the Avery Program. In addition to Mrs Darden, the school counselor, he had arranged with the Education Authority to have Dr Marjory Seetis attend, she was a psychologist from the Department for Education and was a member of the National Program Committee. She had been involved with the Avery Program’s replacement of the Naked in School Program. Also attending were Miss Gunson together with Mr Turner and Mrs Robbins, two teachers who had conducted the most Avery Program sessions.

Hanford opened the meeting, introducing everyone to Dr Seetis.

“So first I want Dr Seetis to listen to our description and impressions of what happened before she addresses our issue. Dr Seetis, I want you to see how we view the problem first and then have you take over the discussion. Is that satisfactory?”

“Yes, that will work,” she agreed. “Let me know the situation’s background and how you’ve dealt with any similar cases. You told me when I rang you back to arrange this meeting that it was about a touch-shy pupil.”

Hanford nodded. “Yes. Thanks. The issue actually involves a case of extreme touch-shyness and nothing like it has come up before in our Avery sessions. As well, I’ve reviewed all of the materials we have from Avery University and find that there’s no mention of dealing with what seems to be a case of intractable touch-avoidance in a pupil. The Avery Program has a protocol for dealing with touch-avoidance; in fact, Miss Denise Roberts actually developed it. She taught it to several of our teachers and it’s been successfully used and improved at the beginning of our pilot program last spring. But that protocol didn’t work for this particular pupil last week. Miss Gunson, can you describe what happened?”

Gunson gave a brief description of her observation of Tom’s class session and concluded by telling the group what Julie had reported to her.

She finished, “Now even though this was one of Julie’s first interventions, she’s quite perceptive and resourceful, but our mentors have been drilled not to, erm... ‘wing it,’ as they say, and they know that they must stick to the techniques which we know have worked in prior sessions. In fact, Julie remembered what Amelia Hadad had accomplished last spring with a religious Muslim girl and she tried that technique too, but to no avail.”

Mrs Darden asked, “For cases of children who are touch-shy, it seems that with a little coaching and encouragement, they can mostly overcome it, right?”

“Yes, that’s always been the case, up to now,” Mr Turner agreed. “When we were trained during the school’s first round of Avery classes, we were told that some degree of touch-shyness can occur in about 5 to 7 percent of kids. The uni students who worked with us during our training mentioned that most cases are mild, and that’s been my personal experience as well. We’ve only had two pupils last spring who we had to remove from the program for psychological reasons, one had a mild form of autism and has hypersensitivity to various stimuli like touch and the other pupil has moderate behavior problems. We didn’t risk putting that second one in the Avery Program because he was somewhat antisocial; he’s subsequently been diagnosed as having a social anxiety disorder. Since both pupils were receiving special ed lessons, we decided that we could leave them out of the required Avery sessions. But the pupil we’re meeting about, Tom Armstrong, he appears to be a normal teenager—with the possible exception of his having those letters in his file asking for exemptions in using the locker room and shower.”

Darden nodded. “I recall from my psych classes that the children with more severe forms of social problems are easy to spot since they exhibit other behavioral issues. Fortunately they’re somewhat rare, like that one antisocial pupil from last spring. And teachers deal with autistic children fairly frequently these days. But Tom Armstrong seems totally normal. The letters from his prior therapists deny any forms of a social anxiety disorder, only a phobia concerning being naked. Apparently that’s why his parents switched his school to Norwich.”

Hanford took over the discussion. “I believe this summarizes the incident, but we’re starting to stray into theorizing and conjecture. Dr Seetis, perhaps now is a good time to tell us if we’ve missed anything.”

Dr Seetis looked around the group. They were watching her intently.

“I can see from your expressions that you expect me to work miracles and give you advice to make everything good again. Psychology isn’t only a science; it’s also a bit of an art and requires intuition as well, so there’s no standard recipe for handling every diagnosis—and the actual diagnosis may only be a choice from among several related options. You mentioned a number of psych terms: phobia, touch-shyness, social anxiety disorder. I think a review of those terms and how they might apply here might help; that is, help in understanding what I believe your issue might be.

“We all know that some people don’t like to be touched. Mr... ah, Turner mentioned a number, 5 to 7 percent, that’s the population of adolescents who exhibit some degree of aversion to being touched, over a mild to severe spectrum. You all probably know that a child who’s touch-averse typically seems distant in interpersonal relationships; they act aloof from others. There exists a disorder where the person is simply hypersensitive to being touched, that’s called allodynia, a painful touch—that’s a neurological problem, obviously not the case here. The mild form of touch-aversion may be a discomfort of someone getting inside a person’s ‘personal space’”—she made finger quotes—“but in its more severe form, the reluctance is regarded as a phobia and has a variety of names: touch avoidance or tactile defensiveness; the technical terms are chiraptophobia, aphenphosmphobia, or haphephobia; there are a few other Greek names for it too. Those hard-to-spell names add gravitas to psychologists’ diagnoses, don’t you know.”

Everyone laughed.

“Those are different names for basically the same disorder, it’s regarded as one of the specific phobias falling into the general group of social phobias. Some experts seem to regard it as a subtype of sensory defensiveness; you probably can see why.

“So enough with technical definitions. I think I’ve heard enough about this young man, enough to believe that he doesn’t fit into the usual picture of people who exhibit touch avoidance. In general, the most common forms of touch-avoidance are found in autistic people, as Mr Turner mentioned. These people dislike touching because of their inability to filter out physical sensations. In a word, as Mr Turner said, they’re hypersensitive. Touch aversion is also associated with premature birth, but this is mostly seen in babies and young children. Its major precipitating cause in the general population is as a reaction to physical abuse; touch-aversion can develop in children or adults as a result of inappropriate sexual or non-sexual touching. I’m guessing that the young man’s records don’t indicate any information which suggests that kind of history.”

Hanford shook his head. “No. And I interviewed the family in January and found them to be quite open and outgoing, while Tom Armstrong seemed to have an engaging and friendly personality.”

Seetis nodded. “Excellent. Then from what I’m hearing, we can rule out other frequent diagnoses which involve intimacy, those personality disorders like avoidant personality disorder or schizophrenia, I think. People with those disorders will avoid contact with others for many reasons but also because they may fear being touched. From your description, Tom Armstrong appears to be ‘normal’”—she made air-quotes—“in all respects but touching.”

Miss Gunson replied. “From what Julie, the session’s mentor, reported, Tom’s had no problems whatsoever in touching contact with either sex. Julie told me that she spent about six weeks this summer with Tom as members of a group of two dozen pupils on a cultural program traveling in Europe. In that group setting, he was totally comfortable interacting with everyone the whole time. He was outgoing and friendly and certainly wasn’t averse to casual touching and hugging, she told me. He reacted only when he was in the Avery Program class setting.”

“Did you notice any overt physical signs of distress with him in that Avery class?” Seetis asked her.

“Oh yes,” Gunson answered. “He was pale and sweating. Trembling, too. I watched when his partner was trying to get him to hold her hands. His body was rigid and his arms were shaking.”

“That fits a classic panic reaction, actually,” Seetis replied. “People react, here’s the laundry list, with panting, dizziness, rapid breathing, shaking, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, intense fear, dry mouth, and an inability to articulate words or sentences...”

“That too,” Gunson broke in.

Seetis frowned. “Sorry? What do you mean?”

“The inability to articulate words or sentences. Tom was having difficulty expressing himself to me.”

Seetis nodded. “Yes. Classic panic. And from the boy’s records, he also panics if he’s naked?”

Hanford shook his head. “Not quite. It appears he panics on just seeing someone naked. His last school had to keep him away from any of the participants chosen for doing the Naked in School Program.”

“Ah? I wonder how they did that?” Seetis remarked. “If he panicked on just seeing nudity, how would he have... ah, was he ever selected for the Program?”

“No,” Hanford stated. “I spoke to their head teacher. He told me that based on Tom’s medical documentation and also following a visit from the family’s solicitor, it had made it necessary for the school to exempt him.”

“Sorry? Exempted? That’s most unusual,” Seetis said. “I’m not aware of exemptions being given without approval from the National Program Committee.”

“However it was arranged, apparently Tom was exempted.”

“I see. But that issue isn’t of concern to us now, is it,” Seetis mused. “No matter, we aren’t dealing with nudity now. If Tom is to be helped, a therapist should attempt to discern the underlying cause of his touch-avoidance to choose the best mode of therapy for him. It’s possible that he could be helped, but sometimes these cases take a fair amount of therapy time.”

“How long would you expect?” Hanford asked.

“This is an unusual presentation,” Seetis remarked. “It’s possible that a year or more may be required. Also, Tom would need to be motivated and cooperative.”

“So where does this put him, and us, as far as his participating in the Avery Program?” Hanford asked.

“From what I’ve heard here today, clearly he’s unable to participate in the basic bonding exercises. I can’t see Tom participating if he’s unable to form the initial emotional attachments with his group. This isn’t like the Naked in School Program where a reluctant or oppositional pupil can be coerced or otherwise pressured to participate. After all, simply taking their clothes away and setting them out into the school environment immediately achieves their participation. The Avery Program requires that the participant voluntarily follows directions. That can’t be achieved by coercion, can it.”

Hanford nodded. “What do you recommend, then?”

Seetis replied, “Have you spoken to the parents, then?” Hanford indicated that he hadn’t. “I’d contact them and discuss the problem. Explain the benefits of the Avery Program. Have them take Tom to a therapist. It would appear that he’d be a good subject since he has few indications of any major social disorders.”

“If his treatment lasts for an extended period...?” Hanford began and Seetis stopped him.

“The Department for Education... that is, the reconstituted and reoriented National Program Committee, hasn’t even begun the transition from the Naked in School Program to the Avery Program as far as requirements, not even to mention, its rules. That committee only exists on paper right now; no one wants to have anything to do with it. As far as the Avery Program goes, you’ve only trained, what?—a few dozen teachers. Teaching programs at the uni level are just beginning to design the program’s curriculum, and most of that work is relying on a number of grad students—who, incidently, were the first trainees here at your school. That said, Mr Hanford, once again you’re operating in virgin territory and you’re free to find your own way. I’ll be watching what you do with this problem with fascination, I assure you.” Seetis grinned and sat back in her chair as she surveyed the baffled expressions of the others in the room.

“Cheer up,” she chuckled, “it isn’t all that bad. Just have a cuppa and mull over your options. Having a cuppa is the cure for all problems, isn’t it.”

Everyone in the room laughed as the meeting started to break up

~~~~

Soon after the meeting, Hanford sent a letter to the Armstrongs. In it he apologized for the formality of the written communication, but assured them that this was done solely to document the fact that the school was following proper procedure over a curriculum problem involving their son. The letter quickly summarized the issue with Tom’s inability to participate in the Avery Program and asked that they contact the school to arrange a meeting to discuss Tom’s situation.

Duncan showed Tom the letter and told him not to worry, that he and Angela would make certain that Tom would be protected from having to do anything uncomfortable.

“Son, we need to discuss what to tell your head teacher. Mom and I’ve decided that we can’t divulge that the two of you are romantically involved.”

“That’s good, Dad,” Tom agreed. “That would make it awkward for us at school.”

“I know, son. I agree that you and Lynette are so closely bonded that you feel uncomfortable getting close to another girl the way that bonding stuff they do is supposed to work. And they expect the bonding to work with a bunch of boys and girls all together. That may be a teen boy’s dream but it’s not for you; obviously you two have committed to each other.”

Tom nodded emphatically and hugged his father. “Thanks, Dad. I don’t know what they may come up with, but I’m very leery of being forced to be so familiar with kids I only may have casual contact with.”

“We’ll see what they say. Don’t worry, Mom and I won’t commit to anything unless you agree.”

“Good. Thanks, Dad.”

The following day Angela called the school office and a meeting was scheduled.

~~~~

When the Armstrongs arrived at the school’s main office, Mr Hanford greeted them and asked them to come into his office and be seated.

He opened the conversation. “Mr and Mrs Armstrong, as I told you when I sent you my post, Tom had a problem when he began his first Avery Program session. Mrs Armstrong, when you rang me to arrange this meeting, you told me that Tom and Lynette had told you what happened; he was unable to do the first several exercises and then left the room.”

Angela nodded.

“Well, I had a meeting with some teachers and a psychologist from the DfE, formerly the Program Committee rep. We discussed Tom’s situation—what happened during the session and some of the reasons Tom might have reacted as he did. Reviewing his file, I noticed that he was diagnosed with a phobia reaction to nudity but there was nothing which showed that he had any other diagnosed problem ... erm, they apparently term it a ‘social disorder.’”

Duncan answered. “Yes, and his diagnosed phobia is actually quite limited. He panics if he’s forced into a situation where he sees nudity and isn’t permitted to escape from that situation. This is why we had to take him out of a school where he would constantly be exposed. His therapists have no idea why he reacts as he does, but they recommended no treatment as no one, even Tom, was harmed by his aversion. And his phobia hasn’t had any effect on his social adjustment, either. Their recommendation was for him to wait until he’s an adult and is ready for treatment but only when he feels that he’s ready.”

“Hmm, this brings up a related matter,” Hanford replied. “We have a school swimming requirement. Locker room showers are required for pool use. How will Tom be able to participate there? All pupils are required to pass a swimming test.”

“Ah, yes. That’s another issue,” Duncan admitted. “That’s in his file too; it was with his other medical info. He had an incident when he was little when a few bullies almost drowned him. He has a severe aversion to water—he’s seen a psychiatrist about that too. The recommendation is that he needs to be ready and willing to try to treat that problem too. He should have the medical exemption in his file. None of his other schools have challenged it.”

Hanford sighed. “All right then. So we’re back to the Avery Program matter then. The psychologist we consulted believes that Tom’s problem with touch-avoidance should be treated. She thought it was an unusual form of touch-avoidance and not one normally associated with a social anxiety disorder. We’d like you to arrange for his therapy and to have your therapist send periodic progress reports to our nurse. Our consultant thought that his therapy might take an extended time, given its being an unusual form of sensitivity.”

Angela shook her head. “Mr Hanford, if you want Tom to have treatment, I suggest that you have a school psychologist arrange for it.”

“Ah, Mrs Armstrong, the school doesn’t have access to a school-funded psychologist. In Britain, everyone gets their medical care from the National Health Service. Funding for any psych services to schools has been cut so many times over the past few years that direct services are virtually unavailable.”

Duncan replied, “Sorry to hear that, Mr Hanford. However, my wife and I will not send Tom to a psychologist on our own. You see, that would send a message to him that we think he needs therapy. Well, we don’t. Tom doesn’t have any problems excepting those which you found when you put him into the school’s Avery Program. We’ve spoken to him and he told us that he only reacts negatively to close physical contact where there’s no emotional connection to the other person. He accepts hugs from friends and doesn’t avoid casual touching by either boys or girls. My wife and I feel that Tom is totally normal in wanting close, intimate contact only with others with whom he has a strong emotional connection. We don’t see that he has any psychological disorder to treat. If you want him to be treated so that he may be able to take part in your program, then arranging such treatment would be your responsibility. You see, if you were to provide the treatment, and if he were to agree to it, then he would know that the school wanted the treatment, not his parents.”

“That puts me in a difficult position, then, Mr and Mrs Armstrong. Our school’s policy is that pupils must complete the Avery...”

Angela interrupted. “Excuse me, sir. This is a school policy? You’ve been told how our son reacts. You have a school policy on swimming, and Tom will be exempted from that, I’m certain. Please tell me, how are these two requirements different?”

Hanford looked surprised. “Hum... Well... Point taken. The Avery Program was Norwich Academy’s substitute for running the Naked in School Program when the DfE required it of us. We’ve simply applied it as a school completion requirement, just as the program it replaced required.”

“Yes, but it’s still only in this school,” Duncan pressed him. “There’s no national requirement for it. And in the end, the government didn’t require you to have that naked program, correct? Now both of our children, Lynette included, have an aversion to the activities in the Avery Program. Lynette won’t do it without Tom, she told us. She feels the same as he does, but she doesn’t have the same strong physical reaction; we’re glad she doesn’t. We don’t see how you’d be able to convince them to participate, and I assure you, sir, you can’t withhold any certification of their academic achievements needed for advancing their education, I’m sure.”

Hanford shrugged. “This is all unexplored territory. True, there’s no way to coerce a pupil to participate—we have just the opposite problem—we weren’t able to have every pupil take part in the program last spring; everyone was clamoring to do it but we didn’t have enough scheduled time or teachers. I suppose we’ll need to consider what to do in cases like your children. They are so very atypical, it would appear—they both are certainly more mature than most of the children in even the sixth form here, according to their teachers. They’re extremely considerate of everyone, very outgoing, cooperative, and supportive—all the characteristics we want the Avery Program to help instill in our children. What I’m chiefly concerned about is that they may be seen as ... outsiders ... not members of any group who’ve been through the program, I think.”

“Well, my husband and I are well aware that Tom and Lynette have already interacted with a group of Avery Program kids,” Angela pointed out. “You have that summer cultural program as an example of that interaction. What did the teachers report?”

Hanford nodded. “True, they interacted very well and weren’t treated as outsiders, although the teacher did observe that they were more aloof in settings where the group intimacy was high. We expected to see that happening and the teacher was prepared. When your children saw that intimacy developing, they would leave for their own room.”

“But the other kids didn’t criticize them for not participating, right? Lynette told us they looked like group groping sessions and that made her uncomfortable,” Angela asked.

“That’s correct. The other pupils didn’t seem to care,” Hanford agreed.

Angela went on, “And supposedly the Avery Program instills respect for others not in their immediate group, isn’t that so?—at least, that’s what Lynette said she heard from a friend who was in it. I think your fears of my children being ostracized are unfounded, Mr Hanford.”

He threw up his hands. “Well, you’ve outflanked me, it would appear. I’ve run out of objections. I will hold out a little hope, though, that if your children see the effects that the Avery Program has on our other pupils, they may change their minds and try again.”

Duncan smiled. “If they do that, I certainly won’t dissuade them, sir. So are we agreed then? Just let this matter rest and let things develop as they will, as our children continue here at Norwich?”

Hanford nodded. “Okay then. We’ll let the matter rest for now. Thanks for coming in. Please keep in touch if you have any further thoughts about Tom’s situation and as well, I will let you know if we have any developments at the school.”

They all rose, shook hands, and the Armstrongs took their leave.

Later on at home, they told their children about the meeting.

“So the Head won’t try to put me in those classes again?” Tom asked.

Angela shook her head. “No, he knows what happened when you were in the class and how that worked out. You two kids just need to keep up whatever you’re doing that has your teachers impressed by your maturity. Dad and I heard a good report about you.”

“Thanks!” both Tom and Lynette exclaimed.

Lynette asked, “Did he say anything about what comes next for us, Mom?”

“Not really. Just that if you begin to feel that you can benefit from the Avery classes, you can ask to be included then.”

Tom and Lynette looked at each other and Tom shrugged.

Lynette giggled, “That’s not very likely, Mom.”

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